You can be confident! All you have to do is rid yourself of self-assurance killers. What are the confidence killers?  Confidence killers are self-defeating idea patterns. Many of us go through life with these damaging assumptions.   Let’s go through these confidence killers and see if you’ve bought any of these evildoers in your thoughts:  

The All or Nothing Sniper:

This way of thinking is the cause you can’t appear to revel in.  Even the small wins you’ve been getting in life. I’ll bet you were the kid in school who went home crying when you received one incorrect answer on a test!   You assume you are a complete failure when your overall performance (whatever it is) is no longer perfect. You’d be confident if you didn’t spend so much energy being so tough on yourself!

The Dark Cloud of Destruction:

Look out! There is a disaster hiding in the back of each and every corner. Expect it. The Dark Cloud of Destruction makes you think stupid things like: ‘I failed my chemistry test; there is no point in even wondering about college, now.’

 Warlord of Negative Magnification:

If you listen to this confidence killer, you’ll never be confident. He’s got a warped notion that if it’s good- it doesn’t count. You’ll take any little negative anthill and magnify it like it’s a mountain.   If you won eight speaking contests but had a cold for the 9th and came in second, you most likely will harp on that ninth and you’ll in no way look at the 8 trophies as the top notch achievements they actually are.

The ‘If I feel it, it ought to be so’ Monster:

This is like a computer worm that shuts down all the clear-thinking parts of your brain! A man or woman with this type of thinking can by no means be confident until they learn that how they are feeling doesn’t necessarily match up with the truth. We all have days when we don’t appear fantastic or function at our best.   The ‘I feel stupid, so I need to be stupid’ syndrome allows us to let our thoughts run our lives. Don’t blindly accept emotions as truth. Be confident enough to think that the following day you probably will be feeling different.

The Sinister Should:

Perfectionists are excellent at should statements. Should statements are more about what your think other people expect from you than what you really want.   Should statements are something like: Everybody needs to have an education plan. The man or woman then thinks ‘Oh, no! I don’t have an education plan! There must be something really wrong with me.’

Libelous Labeler:

Let’s throw this one in prison and throw away the key. You recognize the thought. It’s the one that we use to blame things on something. ‘I am a loser. It must all be my fault.’ If you are going to think labels, label yourself a confident person.

 Compliment Constrictor:

This creepy crawler just can’t seem to let you receive a compliment. For once, if anyone tells you that you look good in that dress or suit, don’t let the slimy one takeover and say: ‘Really? I think it makes me appear fat! Or the classic, Oh this old thing? I’ve had this for years!   The good news is that recognizing any of these villains is half of the battle. So, put on your hat and train yourself to cancel these confidence-killing thoughts.  

Speaker Support Consultant

Deborah Northcutt is the CEO of  I am a Speaker Support Consultant who helps new and aspiring speakers find their ideal speaking opportunities. I help free you up to speak so that you can make more money and live the life that you dreamed of.

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